Hey everyone...this is sort of my little online journal thing, I suppose. If you care, it's here.

Wow, it's been a REALLY long time since I've posted. I suppose things have gotten a bit better since my last post...we've moved, now, into a very expensive house - with my "mother", that is. And I've become majorly obsessed with Panic! At The Disco (not to say I didn't love them before, but whatever). I've been feeling extremely British lately, mind you. I saw 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Pheonix' last night, the 11:00PM show. I really am confused as to how I feel about it. It was a bit disappointing how Harry was so distant, and how the entire movie was based on the battle against You-Know-Who, but I still loved it. The scence where they do actually fight is incredible, breathtaking. I haven't read any of the books, though I did start on the Fourth shortly before the movie for it came out, but I hear that Harry was even more distant from his friends in the book. All of my friends dislike Harry...which brings me to what I'd like to talk about next.

My friends. Lately, they've been getting on my nerve like crazy. One just got her hair cut after growing it out, and she hates the new style. She went on and on about how great it would be, but she hates it. My other friend was thinking of doing the same, as they're twins. She's Zac Efron-Justin Timberlake-Cody Linley-obsessed, And now she's got me starting to like them. I know, EW! Because of the move and my seriously horrible grades, I was kicked out of CBG (mostly because I didn't actually care enough to do my homework). Not too depressed about that aspect of it, but what about my friends? I already had to leave them from the transition from middle to high school (not to mention elementary to middle, but that was forever ago), but now I've got to leave my new friends, too? And my "parents" won't let me do ANYTHING. No iPods, MP3 players, no CELL PHONE, and ABSOULTELY NO TEXT-ING WHATSOEVER (not much of a problem now, but when I did have a cell phone, it was a MAJOR one). So, I can't enjoy music conviently and without a CD player, I can't call/text my friends, I can't have IM or anything like that, and I can't have a MySpace (though I do...tee hee). What CAN I do? My mom says I'm 'unique' and 'not like other girls'. How, that I don't like to wear make-up? News flash, bitch - I do. Or, rather, I did - until you caught me and therew it away. Thanks for that, by the way. I really appreciate you RUINING MY LIFE. Not.
Honestly, people - what am I allowed to do? I can't even hold a decent conversation without my "mother" needing to use the phone or computer. Not to mention the no-text-ing thing. No music up too loud, so as not to wake the baby. Um, excuse me, bitch, but WHEN did I say I even remotely cared about the baby? Never. I can't wear any decent clothes, either. I mean, I don't want to strut around in Hollister bikinis or anything, but, I mean, we're supposed to be, like, upper-upper-upper class here, so why am I stuck wearing Target one-pieces? And is it SO HARD to let your own SISTER pick me up from my DAD'S HOUSE, not YOURS, and have her take me to see a freaking movie? All you have to do is say ONE FREAKING WORD, bitch - "YES", or, you could actually do some damn work for once and take me there yourself. Maybe not make your THIRD HUSBAND (probably more, you just haven't told us yet) drive to Burger King (which I hate) and buy us four kids a small fry and a 4-piece chiken nugget (which sucks, by the way) for once. I have one further thing to say to you, "Mother" - GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS, BITCH, AND FREAKING DO SOMETHING!!!

Thank you. I hope you enjoyed reading this almost as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Wow, it's been a REALLY long time since I've posted. I suppose things have gotten a bit better since my last post...we've moved, now, into a very expensive house - with my "mother", that is. And I've become majorly obsessed with Panic! At The Disco (not to say I didn't love them before, but whatever). I've been feeling extremely British lately, mind you. I saw 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Pheonix' last night, the 11:00PM show. I really am confused as to how I feel about it. It was a bit disappointing how Harry was so distant, and how the entire movie was based on the battle against You-Know-Who, but I still loved it. The scence where they do actually fight is incredible, breathtaking. I haven't read any of the books, though I did start on the Fourth shortly before the movie for it came out, but I hear that Harry was even more distant from his friends in the book. All of my friends dislike Harry...which brings me to what I'd like to talk about next.

My friends. Lately, they've been getting on my nerve like crazy. One just got her hair cut after growing it out, and she hates the new style. She went on and on about how great it would be, but she hates it. My other friend was thinking of doing the same, as they're twins. She's Zac Efron-Justin Timberlake-Cody Linley-obsessed, And now she's got me starting to like them. I know, EW! Because of the move and my seriously horrible grades, I was kicked out of CBG (mostly because I didn't actually care enough to do my homework). Not too depressed about that aspect of it, but what about my friends? I already had to leave them from the transition from middle to high school (not to mention elementary to middle, but that was forever ago), but now I've got to leave my new friends, too? And my "parents" won't let me do ANYTHING. No iPods, MP3 players, no CELL PHONE, and ABSOULTELY NO TEXT-ING WHATSOEVER (not much of a problem now, but when I did have a cell phone, it was a MAJOR one). So, I can't enjoy music conviently and without a CD player, I can't call/text my friends, I can't have IM or anything like that, and I can't have a MySpace (though I do...tee hee). What CAN I do? My mom says I'm 'unique' and 'not like other girls'. How, that I don't like to wear make-up? News flash, bitch - I do. Or, rather, I did - until you caught me and therew it away. Thanks for that, by the way. I really appreciate you RUINING MY LIFE. Not.
Honestly, people - what am I allowed to do? I can't even hold a decent conversation without my "mother" needing to use the phone or computer. Not to mention the no-text-ing thing. No music up too loud, so as not to wake the baby. Um, excuse me, bitch, but WHEN did I say I even remotely cared about the baby? Never. I can't wear any decent clothes, either. I mean, I don't want to strut around in Hollister bikinis or anything, but, I mean, we're supposed to be, like, upper-upper-upper class here, so why am I stuck wearing Target one-pieces? And is it SO HARD to let your own SISTER pick me up from my DAD'S HOUSE, not YOURS, and have her take me to see a freaking movie? All you have to do is say ONE FREAKING WORD, bitch - "YES", or, you could actually do some damn work for once and take me there yourself. Maybe not make your THIRD HUSBAND (probably more, you just haven't told us yet) drive to Burger King (which I hate) and buy us four kids a small fry and a 4-piece chiken nugget (which

Wow, it's been a REALLY long time since I've posted. I suppose things have gotten a bit better since my last post...we've moved, now, into a very expensive house - with my "mother", that is. And I've become majorly obsessed with Panic! At The Disco (not to say I didn't love them before, but whatever). I've been feeling extremely British lately, mind you. I saw 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Pheonix' last night, the 11:00PM show. I really am confused as to how I feel about it. It was a bit disappointing how Harry was so distant, and how the entire movie was based on the battle against You-Know-Who, but I still loved it. The scence where they do actually fight is incredible, breathtaking. I haven't read any of the books, though I did start on the Fourth shortly before the movie for it came out, but I hear that Harry was even more distant from his friends in the book. All of my friends dislike Harry...which brings me to what I'd like to talk about next.

My friends. Lately, they've been getting on my nerve like crazy. One just got her hair cut after growing it out, and she hates the new style. She went on and on about how great it would be, but she hates it. My other friend was thinking of doing the same, as they're twins. She's Zac Efron-Justin Timberlake-Cody Linley-obsessed, And now she's got me starting to like them. I know, EW! Because of the move and my seriously horrible grades, I was kicked out of CBG (mostly because I didn't actually care enough to do my homework). Not too depressed about that aspect of it, but what about my friends? I already had to leave them from the transition from middle to high school (not to mention elementary to middle, but that was forever ago), but now I've got to leave my new friends, too? And my "parents" won't let me do ANYTHING. No iPods, MP3 players, no CELL PHONE, and ABSOULTELY NO TEXT-ING WHATSOEVER (not much of a problem now, but when I did have a cell phone, it was a MAJOR one). So, I can't enjoy music conviently and without a CD player, I can't call/text my friends, I can't have IM or anything like that, and I can't have a MySpace (though I do...tee hee). What CAN I do? My mom says I'm 'unique' and 'not like other girls'. How, that I don't like to wear make-up? News flash, bitch - I do. Or, rather, I did - until you caught me and therew it away. Thanks for that, by the way. I really appreciate you RUINING MY LIFE. Not.
Honestly, people - what am I allowed to do? I can't even hold a decent conversation without my "mother" needing to use the phone or computer. Not to mention the no-text-ing thing. No music up too loud, so as not to wake the baby. Um, excuse me, bitch, but WHEN did I say I even remotely cared about the baby? Never. I can't wear any decent clothes, either. I mean, I don't want to strut around in Hollister bikinis or anything, but, I mean, we're supposed to be, like, upper-upper-upper class here, so why am I stuck wearing Target one-pieces? And is it SO HARD to let your own SISTER pick me up from my DAD'S HOUSE, not YOURS, and have her take me to see a freaking movie? All you have to do is say ONE FREAKING WORD, bitch - "YES", or, you could actually do some damn work for once and take me there yourself. Maybe not make your THIRD HUSBAND (probably more, you just haven't told us yet) drive to Burger King (which I hate) and buy us four kids a small fry and a 4-piece chiken nugget (which

Hey, guys...looks like I haven't updated in quite a while. I've been super busy lately, finishing up the school year...I'm going over to Kristen and Shannon's in a few hours...should be fun...Anyways...I'm "married" now with my friend Daniel. He's my older brother's friend's brother. Yeah, it was confusing for me, too...Daniel ROXX. I seriously LOVE that guy, and not just in a brother-sister kind of way. But he broke up with his girlfriend a while ago, and he's still really sad about it...we make each other laugh and stuff...but I really don't think he likes me how I like him. And, even if he did, he's 4 years older than me. Yeah.

Well, bye.

Well, THAT didn't last long. Ivan got mad at me for talking to him...basically, he said he logged off and didn't, just added me to his ignore list so that it looked liked he did...I caught him, though, by logging onto my other account which he forgot to block, and then he really DID log off.

Yeah....some people are just idiots.

Shannon is my cousin. She has a twin sister named Kristen; they're best friends to me. Shannon is the one who has been dating Patrick's best friend. I just thought that I would update on their relationship...they're still going strong. I seriously suspect that he's dating another girl, though. I like him fine, but I certainly don't love him anymore.

And, as for the baby....well, we've given it up...it was too much for me to handle alone, with Patrick gone. I really do miss him, but I've moved on from that era of my existence...

Okay, that just sounded dumb. But, anyway...

I've been inspired to write more poetry than I can squeeze onto paper...I seriously doubt I'll post any more of it, though, seeing as I will probably send the link to this blog to a few of my friends.

Well....bye.

Wow, it's been quite a while since I have posted anything...A ton has happened since I wrote last. I have a new boyfriend, Ivan, who I've been friends with for a year or two. It's kind of bad, though, since he's, like, 5 years older than me...I'm not even sure if we're even still going out, as it's a very confusing and complex relationship....I think I might like another guy, though. I have a new favorite song - My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne. Yeah, it's pretty old, I know. But I just stumbled upon it today.

My cousins Kristen and Shannon had their birthday party on Easter, which was actually their birthday this year. We did the traditional egg hunt thing (lame, I know) at my grandmother's house. Afterwards, I went over to their house where I stayed for two nights....Not much else has happened, besides the fact that all ties with Patrick have been broken. I haven't talked to him in months...I'm actually kind of proud of myself for it; usually I have a tough time moving on. He was very important there for a while...I still have dreams about him occasionally. I think I really did love him. Maybe I still do. Maybe.

Hey people. Tomorrow's my grandmother's "28"th birthday and our entire family's getting together for a surprise party. I'm actually pretty excited to go. I've got two pretty hot cousins (don't say that's gross, I'm just saying that they're hot) that are going to be there, and I spent five hours making my grandmother's gift. It's kinda dumb but really cool, too. I'm not going to tell you guys what it is because it's stupid and you'll all laugh at me. Okay, fine...I'll tell you one thing: It's part of an inside joke. That's it, dude, I'm not sharing any more.

Andy's not doing so well. Patrick and I broke up (again) and my friend who's dating the guy that I like/hate (I don't know which yet) is still so deeply in love with him that it makes me want to punch someone in the face.

Anyhoo,
HAPPY TRAILS!

AH! No! I haven't posted in AGES! Not much has happened, aside from the fact that the guy with cancer has sort of recovered....he's still recieving chemo but he's doing well. Anyway, I guess that's about it....well, bye.

For those of you who are interested or just like reading, I'm posting an excerpt from Don't Die, My Love (my favorite book) by Lurlene McDaniel.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

Lurlene McDaniel Don’t Die, My Love

Dr. Portage sat and steepled his fingers together. “I’ve checked Luke over, listened to his symptoms, and done some preliminary blood work. As I told you on the phone, I’ve concerned about his elevated white blood count.”

Lurlene McDaniel Don’t Die, My Love

Julie felt her heart pounding and reached for Luke’s hand. “Luke, he’s scaring me.”

Luke looked away. His hand felt cold as ice.

Lurlene McDaniel Don’t Die, My Love

“I don’t mean to alarm any of you,” Dr. Portage said. “But I don’t like what I’m seeing. I suspect Luke has some kind of infection. According to his records, he’s been treated with antibiotics, but he hasn’t responded as he should have.”

Lurlene McDaniel Don’t Die, My Love

“Are you saying you’ll have to run more tests?” Nancy asked.

“Yes. And he needs to be in the hospital in order to run them. I’ve got a call in to St. Paul’s Hospital in Chicago.”

“Why Chicago? What’s wrong with Waterton General?”

“They don’t have the equipment and staff I want for Luke.”

Lurlene McDaniel Don’t Die, My Love

Julie and Luke exchanged glances. His dark eyes bored into her, making her even more afraid. “What do you mean?” Julie asked. Her voice quivered.

Dr. Portage looked directly at Luke. “I want you to go home, pack a bag, and drive straight to St. Paul’s.”

Lurlene McDaniel Don’t Die, My Love

This is a list of all of the songs I'm getting for my MP3 player. Yeah, I know some things are weird, but my parents are MAKING me let my little 10-year-old sister use it sometimes. Anything you see that isn't emo, rock, or anything DECENT, is my SISTER'S!

1. My Chemical Romance-Welcome To The Black Parade
2. My Chemical Romance-Helena
3. Nickelback-Far Away
4. Nickelback-Photograph
5. Nickelback-If Everyone Cared
6. All-American Rejects-It Ends Tonight
7. All-American Rejects-Move Along
8. The Fray-How To Save A Life
9. The Fray-All At Once
10. Hellgoodbye-Here (In Your Arms)
11. Fall Out Boy-This Ain’t A scene, It’s An Arms Race
12. Fall Out Boy-Sugar, We’re Going Down
13. Fall Out Boy-A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me
14. Fall Out Boy-Dance, Dance
15. Fall Out Boy-Love Will Tear Us Apart
16. Three Days Grace-I Hate Everything About You
17. Three Days Grace-Home
18. Three Days Grace-Pain
19. Avril Lavigne-Sk8er Boi
20. Avril Lavigne-Keep Holding On
21. Daughtry-It’s Not Over
22. Shinedown-I Dare You
23. Augustana-Boston
24. Daniel Powter-Bad Day
25. Edwin McCain-I’ll Be
26. Papa Roach-Scars
27. Keith Urban-Tonight I Wanna Cry
28. Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars
29. Dashboard Confessional-Stolen
30. Tool-The Pot
31. Panic! At The Disco-I Write Sins, Not Tragedies
32. A Perfect Circle-Fiddle and the Drum
33. Stone Sour-Through Glass
34. Green Day-Boulevard of Broken Dreams
35. Green Day-Wake Me Up When September Ends
36. HIM-Close To The Flame
37. Vanilla Ice-Ice, Ice Baby
38. Ashley Tisdale-He Said, She Said
39. Jonas Brothers-Year 3000
40. New Found Glory-Hit Or Miss
41. Head Automatica-Beating Hearts, Baby
42. Jesse McCartney-Because You Live
43. The Mountain Goats-Woke Up New
44. Youth Group-Forever Young
45. Lady Soverign-Love Me Or Hate Me
46. Pink-U & Ur Hand
47. Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-Face Down
48. Queen-We Will Rock You

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a song I wrote for the book Don't Die, My Love by Lurlene McDanile (my FAVORITE author). Go to http://www.lurlenemcdaniel.com/     and LOOK AT HER STUFF!!! IT ROCKS!

.....Anyway, this one's about Luke & Julie, but this can pretty much be applied to any one of her books:

Follow Me

 

I gave up,

All hope was lost,

But there you were beside me,

Always there to guide me,

You never gave up, no.

You stuck with me all through this,

And I know that you are new to this,

But so am I,

So let’s just try

To get on with

Our lives.

Put all of this behind us,

Bury it in the past,

‘Cause I know when we’re together,

We can make love last,

So take my hand,

And follow me into Heaven,

And we’ll be together,

Forever, at last.

P. S. Sorry if I HAVE already posted this! I can't remember and, if I did, I'm too lazy to remove it.

I wrote this a while ago.....WAY before I even had this thing. I guess it's not completely revolting, so I'll post it.

So Long To My So-Called Home

I hate it here.

I’m losing my sanity,

Losing my sanity so quickly,

Quickly so that it makes us cry,

Cry so the tears do fall,

Falling, falling tears,

Broken minds and

Shattered dreams.

Scattered hopes,

Desperate wants and needs.

An angry place,

A place insane,

I try to stay away,

To say, “So long,”

At last.

But, although it isn’t fair,

It is where I have to be;

A place to be hated,

A place to hate.

I despise this

So-Called home,

It’s unfair and unreal,

So much that it makes us cry,

Cry, cry so the tears do fall,

Fall from our bleeding eyes,

Onto this dirty floor.

 

Here's another sucky poem I wrote a REALLY long time ago.... It's about some really weird girl and her boyfriend Jack....

And Now You’re Gone

 

If you were the one,

The one with me,

I’d love you forever,

And you would love me.

We’d kiss every night,

And hug every day,

We never would fight

We’d love all the way.

And then you’d pop the question

And I would say yes and

We’d get married

But it’s just a dream.

Our kids would be beautiful,

They’d have your eyes.

They’d get my smile,

Never tell lies.

 

Then, one day,

You’d leave me.

For something better

But, before you went,

You’d leave me a letter,

My dearest girl,

You are my world.

But I have to go,

Why, I don’t know.

God is calling,

And I try to fight him back,

But he won’t let me….

I’m sorry, Love Jack

And I would cry,

Cry forever

Wishing that we

Could be together

I know you left me

For some other reason,

I wish I could know,

Why you’re leaving.

You were the one,

The only one,

I wanted to share my life with,

And now…

And now, you’re gone.

 

AKKKKK! Patrick's new boyfriend just got diagnosed with CANCER, right after he, Patrick and a friend of mine's ex-boyfriend formed a THREESOME! My friend's boyfriend (the one who I went to the bar with & we, well, you know), has REFUSED to help with the baby because we found out it is his. Also, ANDY (The guy Pat is dating) IS MY COUSIN and I'm apparently the ONLY compatible bone marrow donor, because he has no siblings and his parents are dead. He's probably going to be joining them pretty soon.... LIFE SUCKS!

HORRIBLE news....I found out that I am pregnant and that the father is my best friend's boyfriend! And, also, PATRICK IS ****ING GAY!!! He's dating his OTHER best friend! One of his best friends, who another friend of mine is dating (yeah, I know, it gets confusing) broke up with her boyfriend and started dating some other guy....and she doesn't even know his flippin' first name!


I'm REALLY stressed right now....my best friend knows and is going crazy and the father isn't really making much of an effort to help me................AGH!

Patrick and I got back together! But then we broke up again But then we got back together and then broke up and agreed to be JUST FRIENDS. He still loves me and I know it....but I don't know if I love him. I think it's Pete (my friend's boyfriend that I love) that's making me want to break up with Patrick over and over and over and OVER again. I keep thinking I have a chance with him but, in reality, I don't....they're staying strong. My other best friend broke up with her boyfriend Joe.... she's dating some guy who she doesn't even know (she's not exactly sure about his name - and it's a simple name). It's so weird, all this drama - usually I hate it and don't act like a -- I HATE to say it --slut - but I kinda feel like I have to. I love Pete and Patrick both, but I feel like I'm being cornered and, if I don't choose soon, I'll lose them both forever.

I just broke up with my boyfriend Patrick....we'd been dating for about 2 years and were thinking about getting married in the next year....my two best friends are dating his 2 best friends, so, yeah, it's kinda awkward....I'm also in love with one of his best friends and have been since before I met Patrick but since my friend's dating him and they're getting married in, like, 2 weeks (she's older than me & they have been dating for 3 years). I'm frustrated because I've been in love with him since before her, and he likes her.....Oh, well, I guess being single's better than being dead....or not.

Hey people...I'm writing in now because I haven't written in, like, 16 days. Not much has happened, other than the fact that I failed my Spanish quiz. My cousins are sick. Yeah.


Well, I'm bored. Bye.


LISTEN TO THIS SONG  - NOW!:


http://youtube.com/watch?v=D8M99RYwmKk


It rocks out loud.

Hey, guys....what's up? Just writing in to say hey...'cause I feel I have to write a lot....well, bye.